I Act Like This Because I Like You So Hard

To Whom It May Concern:

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this. It is very thoughtful of you, and I appreciate your input. It has recently come to my attention that my resting facial expression makes me look like I hate everybody. Or that I am sad. Really sad. Just to clarify, I am generally not sad. I am pretty happy a lot of the time. And I definitely don't hate you, unless you are legitimately, actually Satan (for purpose of discussion, let's assume that you are not. And if you are, why the f*&% are reading this?)

It has also come to my attention that I am mean to the opposite sex. So I apologize to you, Hypothetical Boy Who Is Reading This. I'm not actually mean; It's really that am afraid of you and of your YouTube references and every other form of boy-humor-that-I-don't-understand.

So Dear Reader, please accept this small token of my undying love and affection for you that remains strong, even if it seems to you that I literally cannot stand to be near you. I picked these especially because I know that they are your favorites.
Very Affectionately Yours,

Megan K. Porter