What Up, D.M.

I met a man who is starting up a band, and Imma be in it! We have played together two times, and it is purettty fun. It's the second (and third) time that I have ever played my bass with someone else in the room, and it feels pretty damn awesome. I also get to sing things! In a mike!

This is great. I, literally, cannot wait for us to play a show. It's going to happen for realz! Also, this guy has a really cool dog who is big and muscley and seems to like me a lot.

Before practice number 2, I took a baby vacation to Spokane for my friend's birthday/party, and it also was purettty fun. But now, I am re-sadded that I am not in Spokane, having fun with fun people. But it will be okay. It is okay. Cause I'm in a band. And right before THAT, I got asked out at work! Which was very flattering, but became a little bit uncomfortable when he told me that he was 37 years old. Needless to say, we did not actually go on that date.

Here's A Thing

I've already decided that if/when I have a horrible, unfair break-up where I find out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, I will not get even with him. I will not get revenge. I will not rant and rave.

Instead, I will become famous. Because Famous is the best revenge.

And Segue: Whenever I get disappointed by some guy, my immediate reaction is to go find some other positive male attention as quickly as possible.

Which leads me to this thing. I wrote an ad and put it on Craigslist. Here it is:


I bought a bass for $100, and I have been playing it for a grand total of 1 year, and I would like to play in your band.

I can read tabs and play them slowly. I can also play all open strings with proficiency and a tiny bit of speed. I have mad bass skillz.

But seriously.

I can also sing quite a bit better than I can bass-play, and I have bangs. I would be totally happy to send you a tasteful, fully-clothed picture of myself if you are into that kind of thing, because I wanna be in your band.

Unless Nirvana is one of your influences, cause in that case I don't want to be in your band at all. I'm cool with everyone else, though.


So that was a week ago, and since then I have gotten four responses from metal bands, two responses from men who want to give me bass lessons for FREE, and I have met with one actual guy who wants to put me in a legit band. Maybe I will be in a band? If that happens, it will be everything that I have ever wanted.

The Best Feeling in the World

...is having clean sheets, clean pajamas, and clean hair all at the same time.

...is staying up till 2 am because you don't have to get up for work the next morning.

...is going to bed at 9:30 because you don't have to work the next morning.

...is sitting in front of a fire.

...is looking forward to something good for at least a day before it actually happens.

...is having a pre-teen think that you are cool.

...is being a regular somewhere.

...is having someone remember details about you.

...is eating when you're really hungry.

...is someone that you like rubbing your back.

...is going to the post office and sending something in the mail.

...is having your mom bring you ice water even though you are perfectly capable of getting it yourself.

Clues That I am Almost Grown-up (Be sure to pay special attention to the capitalization)

I filled CAR up with gas bought with my own MONEY------I am almost grown-up.

I cried at WORK ------- I am almost grown-up.

I got home at 4:30 in the morning, and MY MOM was NOT awake and waiting for me------ I almost grown-up.

I have a thumb-sized bruise on my leg------- I am almost .... I....wait, nevermind.

I wear the same PERFUME everyday-------I am almost a grown-up.

I have different MUSICAL TASTES than my older sister------I am almost a grown-up.

I whim-pierced my nose cause I had a DAY OFF------I am almost grown-up.

I have alcohol PREFERENCES-------I am almost grown-up.

Sister of the Road

This place is pretty cool. I used to be kind of afraid of homeless people and old men and anyone who smelled strongly human. I've volunteered there for 5ish months, and now-I'm pleased to say- those statements are less true than they used to be. Yeah, they are still true, but less so.

So far this year, I have met a Pika, Angel, Endeavor, Jack Rabbit, and a Stevie J. I've been asked to go to a pow-wow, and I've been asked about 2o times if I have a boyfriend. I say that I do to keep things simple.

I like Sisters of the Road because it stretches the sides and punches holes in my box.

Post #3

This is the third blog post of the month. That hasn't happened since May. In order to make that happen, I am writing this post.

I got up at 4:15 am on Tuesday morning, and then I worked for 7 hours. Then I went home and sat in a daze until 5:30 pm. Then I worked for 5 more hours. In the time in between, I bought the best wolf sweatshirt that the world has ever seen. I found it in the Mens Sweater section at Buffalo on Burnside. When I went to work for the second time, I literally told every person about my new wolf sweater; I was that excited about it. And then, the second that I got off work for the second time, I got the sweater out of my purse and paraded it around Andina, showing it to everyone that was still working.




It looks a little like this, but 80,000 times awesomer.

I wore it to the bakery on Wednesday, and it was a hit. I was delighted. Someone took a picture of it on their phone. My friend Lauren who works at Andina came in with her Australian boyfriend, and they were pretty delighted to see the wolf sweater.

I am wearing it right now while I am writing about it. I just got some free coffee at World Cup cause I filled in all 12 punches on my punch card, and I am pretty caffeinated.

I started all three grad school applications.

I love coffee, and grad school applications, and Grooveshark, but most of all, I love my wolf sweater.

Car

This car looks like my car, but isn't actually my actual car. But since yesterday, I have owned a car that looks just like this but dirtier and with more stickers on it.

I named it Rufio.

It cost me $200.

I want to take a roadtrip in it-maybe to Spokane.

It smells like a Volvo.

It has a little zombie hanging from the reaview mirror.

It has spy-like seatbelts.

It is mine.

Jorb

I have another job! A 40 HOUR a week job/I will be making real-person money job! This is very exciting because a.) I just bought a car, and I need to pay for gas and things and b.) I can now afford to go to France and c.) Even save money for the grad school which I fully intend on going to. Yay, Job! Way to save the day!

I also get to work in one of my favorite places ever. Ever ever. It is the home of dollar-fifty coffee and the all-time best bread pudding in the world. I can walk there ever single day if I want to. Or if it is raining too hard, I can drive my old-new $200 car that looks like a flat, grey shoebox. It is acceptable for me to wear my oversized baseball shirt and my gold Top-Siders every day at my new job.

Everyone seems pretty nice and adorable. There is one girl at the counter who literally looks like an angel; her hair is white-blonde and so are her eyebrows, and Jesca and I have affectionately dubbed her "Angel Head." I'm pretty sure that Angel Head and I are going to be good friends. It is warm inside, and it always smells like delicious things cooking. Because there are delicious things cooking ALL THE TIME. Tomorrow, I am going in for my second time as an employee and washing dishes for eight hours. I think it will be super.

Oh, and today I watched these DVDs about how to steam milk and make espresso, and the man who makes them is super silly looking. Here he is. See for yourself.

Hey-Oh! I Feel Amazing

So, I feel amazing. This is due to many combining factors, that together, have resulted in me feeling generally awesome. I have also had about four cups of coffee in the past hour.

Yep, so I thought I that I would post some random google images of "i feel amazing."

Pretty deep, pretty insightful. Prepare to be amazed.

Adam Lambert. Tripped-out 70s-Buddha-Jesus.

Business man running down an empty sky-bridge.Mushroom-hat girl.

I Accomplish Cars

See that? That's a freeway.








See this? This is a gas pump.



What do these things have in common?

...

I"m so glad you asked! I'm going to tell you right now.


Once upon a time, I was afraid to drive on the freeway, but not anymore! I took a roadtrip by myself, yeah, BY MYSELF. This isn't a big deal to most people, but it was a big deal to me. I accomplished freeways.

Once upon a time I lived in Oregon and never learned how to pump my own gas. Because you don't have to in Oregon. Then I lived in Washington and still never learned to pump my own gas, because I didn't have a car. BUT THEN, I drove a car to Washington, and I realized, "omgIhavetopumpmyowngasNOOOO." But then I did it, and it was fine, and I felt way more proud of myself than I should have. I accomplised the gas pump.

Sun With Frowny Face

The sun looks frowny.



So, here's the connection:
1. Not loving being out of college. In fact, it kind of/really sucks. And I never thought I would be the person to say that. I didn't even like college till I was halfway through it, but now, I just want to go back in the fall. That is true. Even to Spokane. Spokane is seeming pretty adorable and awesome right now, because at least if I was going back to school, I would have something to do with my life for another year. I mean, I think I do know what I want to do with my life-get my M.A. in community counseling, do good in the world etc.- but right now, at this point, I feel like I am going to be stuck working 36 hours a week at a restaurant for rich people, living in my parent's basement, and floating across the surface until I can do something meaningful. There is absolutely no purpose to what I am doing right now. I hate this. Yes, I will be starting grad school stuff in a couple of weeks (clutch), and I am going to try super hard to get another job (coffee shop? No more children's theater that never pays me!), and I am going to Chicago to see my ass-kicking awesome friend Emily (we will probably/definitely be dressing up in costumes/spandex dresses multiple times...Wow. That sounded kind of dirty. Sorry), and I have a new place that I want to volunteer which looks amazing (music mentorship? Alternative-school tutoring? Umm... super great.) Oh, and my sweet, great, awesome big brother is getting married next weekend, and it will be the most fun wedding that will ever be. SO all that is good. But, really, what I really want to do is go back to school. Gah! I never thought I would be that person, but I am. It's hard structuring my own life. School just makes it so easy to have a purpose.
2. No Motivation
There has been a pile of clean clothes on my floor for the past two months. I periodically replace them with new clean clothes, but I never actually put them away. I have a letter from my amazing friend Stephanie that I have been meaning to answer for a month but just haven't. Bad friend. Bad. I started a check registry, and then I almost immediately stopped writing anything in it. I'm tired all the time, and it sucks every bit of motivation right out of me. Double-shifts are brutal, and every time I'm not working at night, I'm usually doing something with someone (which is great, and I think, healthy) , and I feel off-balance. Like I never really do what I need to do, but I also can't make myself do what I need to do. Because it's so much easier to watch "Parks and Recreation" on Netflix in bed for hours on end.
3. Hurry up and end already, Stupid Summer. You've been sort of sucky.

Contains Nothing Deep

I really want to post, because I haven't in a long time, but I haven't formed any burning, cohesive thoughts lately, so I don't actually have anything to say. So instead, here is a random collection of unrelated things that have passed through my head in the last three weeks.

Random 1- Wally and Sean
I have a new (higher-quality, less-paid-but-better-employee-discount, in-Portland) hostessing job! For this job, I was required to get an OLCC liquor license, which costs a good chunk of change but sounds super-legit. To get this license, I had to take a class and pass a test. Somehow, I signed up for the class that had only one other member in it: Sean. Picture a tiny version of William H. Macy who is making his living as a jockey (the kind that rides horses. Not the disc kind.) There. That's what Sean looked like. The instructor of the class was named Wally. Wally had the biggest belly I have ever seen and rosacea up his arms. He was wearing a baseball hat
that said "A+ Server Education," and one of those novelty t-shirts that says something like "I see stupid people." And also rainbow colored mirrored sunglasses. Together, the three of us sat at a round table in a bar that should have been full of hipsters but was not, and we filled out a packet that taught Sean and I that we should question potential about their star sign to prove that their ID was real.

Random 2- Summerland
This is possibly one of the best kid's books ever written.
I bet that you would like this book. I have a hard time reading Michael Chabon, and I like this book.

Random 3- Stoplights
I've been driving downtown on Sunday mornings. There is almost no one down there at that time. It is the perfect time to drive at the exact speed that it takes for the stoplights to change, meaning that I can drive all the way across 4th without ever having to put on my brakes. This makes me pretty happy.

Random 4- Really Good French Toast
Have you ever had really good french toast? I bet you haven't, unless you eat a lot of it at a lot of different places. I eat a lot of french toast, so I feel like I am somewhat well-qualified to judge. Here's my judgment:
If you want really, really THE BEST french toast, and you are in Portland, you should go to Byways Cafe. I wish I had a picture. This french toast is epically good.

Imma Tell You Something Cool

This is possibly the best thing that has happened in the past three-ish weeks:

The week that I got home, I checked Craigslist everyday for restaurant jobs (and to see whether I had gotten a missed connection and/or if anyone was requiring an amateur, female bass player), and I saw an awesome one for this late-night restaurant called The Gilt Club. It's apparently a pretty prestigious restaurant, but I didn't know that then.

I checked out their website, and it was super-cool-funny. Look at it. LOOK HOW FUNNY:

http://www.giltclub.com/people.html

(Keep scrolling down; it just gets better)


Anyway, I though, "I could work here! I don't have the experience, but I wanna work here real bad!"

So I sat down with my sister and wrote a resume and a kick-ass cover letter. This picture was included and referenced in the letter with the description "please note: I am not the unicorn":
And then I went merrily to the restaurant and turned it all in.

I didn't expect to get hired or interviewed because apparently, Ali has a friend that has been applying their for 8 years and still hasn't been hired. No big deal.

So yesterday night, I got home from work, and I saw that I had gotten a letter from the Gilt Club. It was a form rejection letter that said that they had received over 200 applications in 3 days, so I shouldn't feel bad that they didn't hire me. But, but, my letter also had a personal note which read (word for word) *ahem*


Megan,
Your photo was awesome! We seriously considered interviewing you but sadly wanted someone with more experience. But, because you are so rad if you come and sit at the bar and say, "please note: I am not the unicorn" we'll buy you a drink.



And then I felt awesome and was so excited that I called my sister (and then kept calling till she answered) and read that note to her.


And that is the most exciting thing that I have to say about being back home.


I miss college.



But anyway, the moral of this story is: never be afraid to dress up like a Fairy of Power from Zelda, because someday you might be able to send it to a restaurant with your application, and even though they won't hire you, they might think that you are cool and give you something for free.

Read This! Go and Do It Now!

180

This is me, sitting in a field of pretty weeds, on the corner of Division. Please note the gigantic, flat-bed truck in the back ground. Feel free to pull deeper meaning from this picture.


So far, the most exciting thing about graduating and being home (besides being back in Portland, which is always exciting) is finally getting a queen-size bed. I'm an adult! I'manadultI'manadult! I fucking love my hand-me-down queen bad, ok?

But really, other than that, it is a little sad. Not permanently sad, but nostalgic sad. Especially when I look back at the beginning of college, the first two years, when I just hated it. I was shockingly unhappy at Whitworth for most of those years, which was mostly my own fault, but was also North Spokane's fault, because honestly (and I can say this now because I don't live there anymore) North Spokane just sucks. Sucks so bad. It's a terrible place, unless you have a lot of friends to hang out with, which I didn't. So there you go.

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test my sophomore year, and I got INFJ. That personality definitely was me at that time, and it still is in some ways. Funnily enough though, I took the test again in the car yesterday, driving to Portland with my siblings, and I got ENFP, which makes sense now.

The second half of college was such a complete 180 from the first half. I think that I really was two different people; it amazes me how many friends I have/had in Spokane that I am sad to leave. Really, really sad to leave. I never thought that that would happen. Wow. Just WOW.

Mostly, college was just completely different from what I expected, in the best possible way. For example:

College Fantasty: I have many philosophical male friends. We sit around discussing Kant, and post-modern art, while drinking boxed red wine.

Reality: Spent 80% of my social time with women, who were wonderful and beautiful and supportive. Because men generally make self-conscious. Not always, but I just didn't meet the right kinds of men, until the very last second.

College Fanstasy: I excel at one subject easily. I am recognized as "the best blankety-blank blank on campus."

Reality: Turns out, I am not that good at anything. I don't mean that I am not good at anything, I just mean that I am not exceptionally good at anything. I am not a genius. But hey, that's ok.

College Fantasy: I immediately connect with an artistic, sensitive young man, who treats me wonderfully and understands every one of my quirks. We are the most adorable couple that has ever been.

Reality: Made it all the way through college without dating a single man. However, this taught me to valuable lessons both about myself and about the opposite sex. Like, I used to think that every guy is a nice guy, but that is NOT TRUE. A nice guy is rarer than I thought. Most importantly, I learned that you should always triple-check a man's relationship status. Seriously, do it. And probably steer clear of men who have had a serious girlfriend within the last three years. I also learned that I have the absolute worst timing in the world. It is truly, truly terrible.

In conclusion, I am happy and sad, and nostaligic and excited, and full of content and longing. Things need to be sorted, but they are good.

I am good.

Done With College? What What.

This is what I have learned over the past four years.

Ok go:

- Say yes to everything, unless there is a really-legit-good reason not to.
- I am always going to have cleavage. Always, no matter what I wear. That's fine. It's just how it IS.
- It's ok to watch TV. It is also okay to like Ke$ha and buy "Marie Claire" every month at Winco.
-Dessert after every meal is a bad idea. Unfortunately.
- Umm... BANGS. Bangs=awesome. My life became twice as intersting the moment I got bangs.
-There is no reason to do homework in advance. Because, guess what? GPA doesn't matter at all.
- I love to sing jazz.
- There are lots and lots of fantastic people in the world.
-Never trust a boy named Stephen
-It's okay to be pretty good at a lot of things, but not exceptional at any of them.
-I can go almost anywhere on foot.
-Always check for girlfriends.
-Letter-writing is underrated, but should be resurructed.
-I could live on mangos and sandwich thins.
-Everyone is likable if you let yourself like them.
-Karaoke is awesome.
-God is out there.

Lovely Weekend

Spokane finally produced it's first gorgeous spring weekend. Ahhhhh... That is the sound of me giving a huge sigh of relief.

I needed this weekend to re-realize that being wirh people brings me much more contentment than watching TV by myself in my bedroom, and that sitting in the sun and is one of the best sensations in the world.

I stayed up exra-late on Friday night to shave my legs so that I could wear a sundress on Saturday, and it was worth the loss of sleep.

Getting up at 6:30 in the morning doesn't even hurt if it is sunny outside.

Also, I learned something important: If you are upset about something beyond your control, you should go to a drag show. Yep, you should. It is a wonderful idea.

Advice If You Happen to Be Around Me Lately

Embracing the Booty Shorts: Part I

Do you see these shorts? I own them, or at least a pair that looks just like them. And in three weeks time, I will have to wear these shorts onstage and dance around. They will have a pair of nude tights under them, but STILL.

I don't wear shorts. The last time a pair of shorts was on my body in a public place, I hadn't yet gone through puberty yet.

Since receiving my booty shorts in the mail, I have been wearing them almost every day to get used to them. And you know what? They don't look half bad. That doesn't mean that I suddenly love my legs and think that they are super hot and sexy, but with tights and booty shorts, they are perfectly respectable legs.

So that's good to know, I guess.

As long as no one looks too closely.

Flat Line

I haven't had anything to write about lately. Life has felt like a flat line for awhile. It has been cold and gray and windy and gray and cold. I've been watching "Gilmore Girls," and eating a lot of yellow foods. Mangos, pineapple, cheesy toast.

I have fallen in love with Jess, Rory's second boyfriend.
I haven't done the majority of the things that I should have done.
I've spent lots of money on coffee to give me something to do.

Starbucks doesn't actually have very good coffee, but I've been going there a lot more than normal. There is an odd, shallow-yet-satisfying ritual that I've formed lately, which involves me, a girly magazing (preferably "Marie Claire" but I'll settle for less) and Hawthorne Starbucks.

So I was sitting there about a month ago, vaguely trying to disguise what I was reading, when this lady comes up to me to tell me that she likes my hair. "Is it henna?" she says.

"Why yes it is henna!" I says.

Then she told me that she used to live in Sweden and that she henna-ed her hair etc. etc. And I told her where I got my henna. And she was a friendly, cute middle-aged lady, and we had a nice interaction.

Then I saw her again a couple weeks ago, and we talked about henna some more, and she was just such a nice, happy lady.

Culmination: I saw her at Starbucks this week, and she came over and talked to me, not about henna, but just for the hell of it, because now we have become occasional Starbucks friends. Which I kind of love.And here's Jess, my TV lover.