Sunday, July 3, 2011

Contains Nothing Deep

I really want to post, because I haven't in a long time, but I haven't formed any burning, cohesive thoughts lately, so I don't actually have anything to say. So instead, here is a random collection of unrelated things that have passed through my head in the last three weeks.

Random 1- Wally and Sean
I have a new (higher-quality, less-paid-but-better-employee-discount, in-Portland) hostessing job! For this job, I was required to get an OLCC liquor license, which costs a good chunk of change but sounds super-legit. To get this license, I had to take a class and pass a test. Somehow, I signed up for the class that had only one other member in it: Sean. Picture a tiny version of William H. Macy who is making his living as a jockey (the kind that rides horses. Not the disc kind.) There. That's what Sean looked like. The instructor of the class was named Wally. Wally had the biggest belly I have ever seen and rosacea up his arms. He was wearing a baseball hat
that said "A+ Server Education," and one of those novelty t-shirts that says something like "I see stupid people." And also rainbow colored mirrored sunglasses. Together, the three of us sat at a round table in a bar that should have been full of hipsters but was not, and we filled out a packet that taught Sean and I that we should question potential about their star sign to prove that their ID was real.

Random 2- Summerland
This is possibly one of the best kid's books ever written.
I bet that you would like this book. I have a hard time reading Michael Chabon, and I like this book.

Random 3- Stoplights
I've been driving downtown on Sunday mornings. There is almost no one down there at that time. It is the perfect time to drive at the exact speed that it takes for the stoplights to change, meaning that I can drive all the way across 4th without ever having to put on my brakes. This makes me pretty happy.

Random 4- Really Good French Toast
Have you ever had really good french toast? I bet you haven't, unless you eat a lot of it at a lot of different places. I eat a lot of french toast, so I feel like I am somewhat well-qualified to judge. Here's my judgment:
If you want really, really THE BEST french toast, and you are in Portland, you should go to Byways Cafe. I wish I had a picture. This french toast is epically good.