Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Best Feeling in the World having clean sheets, clean pajamas, and clean hair all at the same time. staying up till 2 am because you don't have to get up for work the next morning. going to bed at 9:30 because you don't have to work the next morning. sitting in front of a fire. looking forward to something good for at least a day before it actually happens. having a pre-teen think that you are cool. being a regular somewhere. having someone remember details about you. eating when you're really hungry. someone that you like rubbing your back. going to the post office and sending something in the mail. having your mom bring you ice water even though you are perfectly capable of getting it yourself.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Clues That I am Almost Grown-up (Be sure to pay special attention to the capitalization)

I filled CAR up with gas bought with my own MONEY------I am almost grown-up.

I cried at WORK ------- I am almost grown-up.

I got home at 4:30 in the morning, and MY MOM was NOT awake and waiting for me------ I almost grown-up.

I have a thumb-sized bruise on my leg------- I am almost .... I....wait, nevermind.

I wear the same PERFUME everyday-------I am almost a grown-up.

I have different MUSICAL TASTES than my older sister------I am almost a grown-up.

I whim-pierced my nose cause I had a DAY OFF------I am almost grown-up.

I have alcohol PREFERENCES-------I am almost grown-up.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sister of the Road

This place is pretty cool. I used to be kind of afraid of homeless people and old men and anyone who smelled strongly human. I've volunteered there for 5ish months, and now-I'm pleased to say- those statements are less true than they used to be. Yeah, they are still true, but less so.

So far this year, I have met a Pika, Angel, Endeavor, Jack Rabbit, and a Stevie J. I've been asked to go to a pow-wow, and I've been asked about 2o times if I have a boyfriend. I say that I do to keep things simple.

I like Sisters of the Road because it stretches the sides and punches holes in my box.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Post #3

This is the third blog post of the month. That hasn't happened since May. In order to make that happen, I am writing this post.

I got up at 4:15 am on Tuesday morning, and then I worked for 7 hours. Then I went home and sat in a daze until 5:30 pm. Then I worked for 5 more hours. In the time in between, I bought the best wolf sweatshirt that the world has ever seen. I found it in the Mens Sweater section at Buffalo on Burnside. When I went to work for the second time, I literally told every person about my new wolf sweater; I was that excited about it. And then, the second that I got off work for the second time, I got the sweater out of my purse and paraded it around Andina, showing it to everyone that was still working.

It looks a little like this, but 80,000 times awesomer.

I wore it to the bakery on Wednesday, and it was a hit. I was delighted. Someone took a picture of it on their phone. My friend Lauren who works at Andina came in with her Australian boyfriend, and they were pretty delighted to see the wolf sweater.

I am wearing it right now while I am writing about it. I just got some free coffee at World Cup cause I filled in all 12 punches on my punch card, and I am pretty caffeinated.

I started all three grad school applications.

I love coffee, and grad school applications, and Grooveshark, but most of all, I love my wolf sweater.

Monday, October 10, 2011


This car looks like my car, but isn't actually my actual car. But since yesterday, I have owned a car that looks just like this but dirtier and with more stickers on it.

I named it Rufio.

It cost me $200.

I want to take a roadtrip in it-maybe to Spokane.

It smells like a Volvo.

It has a little zombie hanging from the reaview mirror.

It has spy-like seatbelts.

It is mine.

Friday, October 7, 2011


I have another job! A 40 HOUR a week job/I will be making real-person money job! This is very exciting because a.) I just bought a car, and I need to pay for gas and things and b.) I can now afford to go to France and c.) Even save money for the grad school which I fully intend on going to. Yay, Job! Way to save the day!

I also get to work in one of my favorite places ever. Ever ever. It is the home of dollar-fifty coffee and the all-time best bread pudding in the world. I can walk there ever single day if I want to. Or if it is raining too hard, I can drive my old-new $200 car that looks like a flat, grey shoebox. It is acceptable for me to wear my oversized baseball shirt and my gold Top-Siders every day at my new job.

Everyone seems pretty nice and adorable. There is one girl at the counter who literally looks like an angel; her hair is white-blonde and so are her eyebrows, and Jesca and I have affectionately dubbed her "Angel Head." I'm pretty sure that Angel Head and I are going to be good friends. It is warm inside, and it always smells like delicious things cooking. Because there are delicious things cooking ALL THE TIME. Tomorrow, I am going in for my second time as an employee and washing dishes for eight hours. I think it will be super.

Oh, and today I watched these DVDs about how to steam milk and make espresso, and the man who makes them is super silly looking. Here he is. See for yourself.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Hey-Oh! I Feel Amazing

So, I feel amazing. This is due to many combining factors, that together, have resulted in me feeling generally awesome. I have also had about four cups of coffee in the past hour.

Yep, so I thought I that I would post some random google images of "i feel amazing."

Pretty deep, pretty insightful. Prepare to be amazed.

Adam Lambert. Tripped-out 70s-Buddha-Jesus.

Business man running down an empty sky-bridge.Mushroom-hat girl.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I Accomplish Cars

See that? That's a freeway.

See this? This is a gas pump.

What do these things have in common?


I"m so glad you asked! I'm going to tell you right now.

Once upon a time, I was afraid to drive on the freeway, but not anymore! I took a roadtrip by myself, yeah, BY MYSELF. This isn't a big deal to most people, but it was a big deal to me. I accomplished freeways.

Once upon a time I lived in Oregon and never learned how to pump my own gas. Because you don't have to in Oregon. Then I lived in Washington and still never learned to pump my own gas, because I didn't have a car. BUT THEN, I drove a car to Washington, and I realized, "omgIhavetopumpmyowngasNOOOO." But then I did it, and it was fine, and I felt way more proud of myself than I should have. I accomplised the gas pump.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sun With Frowny Face

The sun looks frowny.

So, here's the connection:
1. Not loving being out of college. In fact, it kind of/really sucks. And I never thought I would be the person to say that. I didn't even like college till I was halfway through it, but now, I just want to go back in the fall. That is true. Even to Spokane. Spokane is seeming pretty adorable and awesome right now, because at least if I was going back to school, I would have something to do with my life for another year. I mean, I think I do know what I want to do with my life-get my M.A. in community counseling, do good in the world etc.- but right now, at this point, I feel like I am going to be stuck working 36 hours a week at a restaurant for rich people, living in my parent's basement, and floating across the surface until I can do something meaningful. There is absolutely no purpose to what I am doing right now. I hate this. Yes, I will be starting grad school stuff in a couple of weeks (clutch), and I am going to try super hard to get another job (coffee shop? No more children's theater that never pays me!), and I am going to Chicago to see my ass-kicking awesome friend Emily (we will probably/definitely be dressing up in costumes/spandex dresses multiple times...Wow. That sounded kind of dirty. Sorry), and I have a new place that I want to volunteer which looks amazing (music mentorship? Alternative-school tutoring? Umm... super great.) Oh, and my sweet, great, awesome big brother is getting married next weekend, and it will be the most fun wedding that will ever be. SO all that is good. But, really, what I really want to do is go back to school. Gah! I never thought I would be that person, but I am. It's hard structuring my own life. School just makes it so easy to have a purpose.
2. No Motivation
There has been a pile of clean clothes on my floor for the past two months. I periodically replace them with new clean clothes, but I never actually put them away. I have a letter from my amazing friend Stephanie that I have been meaning to answer for a month but just haven't. Bad friend. Bad. I started a check registry, and then I almost immediately stopped writing anything in it. I'm tired all the time, and it sucks every bit of motivation right out of me. Double-shifts are brutal, and every time I'm not working at night, I'm usually doing something with someone (which is great, and I think, healthy) , and I feel off-balance. Like I never really do what I need to do, but I also can't make myself do what I need to do. Because it's so much easier to watch "Parks and Recreation" on Netflix in bed for hours on end.
3. Hurry up and end already, Stupid Summer. You've been sort of sucky.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Contains Nothing Deep

I really want to post, because I haven't in a long time, but I haven't formed any burning, cohesive thoughts lately, so I don't actually have anything to say. So instead, here is a random collection of unrelated things that have passed through my head in the last three weeks.

Random 1- Wally and Sean
I have a new (higher-quality, less-paid-but-better-employee-discount, in-Portland) hostessing job! For this job, I was required to get an OLCC liquor license, which costs a good chunk of change but sounds super-legit. To get this license, I had to take a class and pass a test. Somehow, I signed up for the class that had only one other member in it: Sean. Picture a tiny version of William H. Macy who is making his living as a jockey (the kind that rides horses. Not the disc kind.) There. That's what Sean looked like. The instructor of the class was named Wally. Wally had the biggest belly I have ever seen and rosacea up his arms. He was wearing a baseball hat
that said "A+ Server Education," and one of those novelty t-shirts that says something like "I see stupid people." And also rainbow colored mirrored sunglasses. Together, the three of us sat at a round table in a bar that should have been full of hipsters but was not, and we filled out a packet that taught Sean and I that we should question potential about their star sign to prove that their ID was real.

Random 2- Summerland
This is possibly one of the best kid's books ever written.
I bet that you would like this book. I have a hard time reading Michael Chabon, and I like this book.

Random 3- Stoplights
I've been driving downtown on Sunday mornings. There is almost no one down there at that time. It is the perfect time to drive at the exact speed that it takes for the stoplights to change, meaning that I can drive all the way across 4th without ever having to put on my brakes. This makes me pretty happy.

Random 4- Really Good French Toast
Have you ever had really good french toast? I bet you haven't, unless you eat a lot of it at a lot of different places. I eat a lot of french toast, so I feel like I am somewhat well-qualified to judge. Here's my judgment:
If you want really, really THE BEST french toast, and you are in Portland, you should go to Byways Cafe. I wish I had a picture. This french toast is epically good.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Imma Tell You Something Cool

This is possibly the best thing that has happened in the past three-ish weeks:

The week that I got home, I checked Craigslist everyday for restaurant jobs (and to see whether I had gotten a missed connection and/or if anyone was requiring an amateur, female bass player), and I saw an awesome one for this late-night restaurant called The Gilt Club. It's apparently a pretty prestigious restaurant, but I didn't know that then.

I checked out their website, and it was super-cool-funny. Look at it. LOOK HOW FUNNY:

(Keep scrolling down; it just gets better)

Anyway, I though, "I could work here! I don't have the experience, but I wanna work here real bad!"

So I sat down with my sister and wrote a resume and a kick-ass cover letter. This picture was included and referenced in the letter with the description "please note: I am not the unicorn":
And then I went merrily to the restaurant and turned it all in.

I didn't expect to get hired or interviewed because apparently, Ali has a friend that has been applying their for 8 years and still hasn't been hired. No big deal.

So yesterday night, I got home from work, and I saw that I had gotten a letter from the Gilt Club. It was a form rejection letter that said that they had received over 200 applications in 3 days, so I shouldn't feel bad that they didn't hire me. But, but, my letter also had a personal note which read (word for word) *ahem*

Your photo was awesome! We seriously considered interviewing you but sadly wanted someone with more experience. But, because you are so rad if you come and sit at the bar and say, "please note: I am not the unicorn" we'll buy you a drink.

And then I felt awesome and was so excited that I called my sister (and then kept calling till she answered) and read that note to her.

And that is the most exciting thing that I have to say about being back home.

I miss college.

But anyway, the moral of this story is: never be afraid to dress up like a Fairy of Power from Zelda, because someday you might be able to send it to a restaurant with your application, and even though they won't hire you, they might think that you are cool and give you something for free.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


This is me, sitting in a field of pretty weeds, on the corner of Division. Please note the gigantic, flat-bed truck in the back ground. Feel free to pull deeper meaning from this picture.

So far, the most exciting thing about graduating and being home (besides being back in Portland, which is always exciting) is finally getting a queen-size bed. I'm an adult! I'manadultI'manadult! I fucking love my hand-me-down queen bad, ok?

But really, other than that, it is a little sad. Not permanently sad, but nostalgic sad. Especially when I look back at the beginning of college, the first two years, when I just hated it. I was shockingly unhappy at Whitworth for most of those years, which was mostly my own fault, but was also North Spokane's fault, because honestly (and I can say this now because I don't live there anymore) North Spokane just sucks. Sucks so bad. It's a terrible place, unless you have a lot of friends to hang out with, which I didn't. So there you go.

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test my sophomore year, and I got INFJ. That personality definitely was me at that time, and it still is in some ways. Funnily enough though, I took the test again in the car yesterday, driving to Portland with my siblings, and I got ENFP, which makes sense now.

The second half of college was such a complete 180 from the first half. I think that I really was two different people; it amazes me how many friends I have/had in Spokane that I am sad to leave. Really, really sad to leave. I never thought that that would happen. Wow. Just WOW.

Mostly, college was just completely different from what I expected, in the best possible way. For example:

College Fantasty: I have many philosophical male friends. We sit around discussing Kant, and post-modern art, while drinking boxed red wine.

Reality: Spent 80% of my social time with women, who were wonderful and beautiful and supportive. Because men generally make self-conscious. Not always, but I just didn't meet the right kinds of men, until the very last second.

College Fanstasy: I excel at one subject easily. I am recognized as "the best blankety-blank blank on campus."

Reality: Turns out, I am not that good at anything. I don't mean that I am not good at anything, I just mean that I am not exceptionally good at anything. I am not a genius. But hey, that's ok.

College Fantasy: I immediately connect with an artistic, sensitive young man, who treats me wonderfully and understands every one of my quirks. We are the most adorable couple that has ever been.

Reality: Made it all the way through college without dating a single man. However, this taught me to valuable lessons both about myself and about the opposite sex. Like, I used to think that every guy is a nice guy, but that is NOT TRUE. A nice guy is rarer than I thought. Most importantly, I learned that you should always triple-check a man's relationship status. Seriously, do it. And probably steer clear of men who have had a serious girlfriend within the last three years. I also learned that I have the absolute worst timing in the world. It is truly, truly terrible.

In conclusion, I am happy and sad, and nostaligic and excited, and full of content and longing. Things need to be sorted, but they are good.

I am good.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Done With College? What What.

This is what I have learned over the past four years.

Ok go:

- Say yes to everything, unless there is a really-legit-good reason not to.
- I am always going to have cleavage. Always, no matter what I wear. That's fine. It's just how it IS.
- It's ok to watch TV. It is also okay to like Ke$ha and buy "Marie Claire" every month at Winco.
-Dessert after every meal is a bad idea. Unfortunately.
- Umm... BANGS. Bangs=awesome. My life became twice as intersting the moment I got bangs.
-There is no reason to do homework in advance. Because, guess what? GPA doesn't matter at all.
- I love to sing jazz.
- There are lots and lots of fantastic people in the world.
-Never trust a boy named Stephen
-It's okay to be pretty good at a lot of things, but not exceptional at any of them.
-I can go almost anywhere on foot.
-Always check for girlfriends.
-Letter-writing is underrated, but should be resurructed.
-I could live on mangos and sandwich thins.
-Everyone is likable if you let yourself like them.
-Karaoke is awesome.
-God is out there.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Lovely Weekend

Spokane finally produced it's first gorgeous spring weekend. Ahhhhh... That is the sound of me giving a huge sigh of relief.

I needed this weekend to re-realize that being wirh people brings me much more contentment than watching TV by myself in my bedroom, and that sitting in the sun and is one of the best sensations in the world.

I stayed up exra-late on Friday night to shave my legs so that I could wear a sundress on Saturday, and it was worth the loss of sleep.

Getting up at 6:30 in the morning doesn't even hurt if it is sunny outside.

Also, I learned something important: If you are upset about something beyond your control, you should go to a drag show. Yep, you should. It is a wonderful idea.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Embracing the Booty Shorts: Part I

Do you see these shorts? I own them, or at least a pair that looks just like them. And in three weeks time, I will have to wear these shorts onstage and dance around. They will have a pair of nude tights under them, but STILL.

I don't wear shorts. The last time a pair of shorts was on my body in a public place, I hadn't yet gone through puberty yet.

Since receiving my booty shorts in the mail, I have been wearing them almost every day to get used to them. And you know what? They don't look half bad. That doesn't mean that I suddenly love my legs and think that they are super hot and sexy, but with tights and booty shorts, they are perfectly respectable legs.

So that's good to know, I guess.

As long as no one looks too closely.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Flat Line

I haven't had anything to write about lately. Life has felt like a flat line for awhile. It has been cold and gray and windy and gray and cold. I've been watching "Gilmore Girls," and eating a lot of yellow foods. Mangos, pineapple, cheesy toast.

I have fallen in love with Jess, Rory's second boyfriend.
I haven't done the majority of the things that I should have done.
I've spent lots of money on coffee to give me something to do.

Starbucks doesn't actually have very good coffee, but I've been going there a lot more than normal. There is an odd, shallow-yet-satisfying ritual that I've formed lately, which involves me, a girly magazing (preferably "Marie Claire" but I'll settle for less) and Hawthorne Starbucks.

So I was sitting there about a month ago, vaguely trying to disguise what I was reading, when this lady comes up to me to tell me that she likes my hair. "Is it henna?" she says.

"Why yes it is henna!" I says.

Then she told me that she used to live in Sweden and that she henna-ed her hair etc. etc. And I told her where I got my henna. And she was a friendly, cute middle-aged lady, and we had a nice interaction.

Then I saw her again a couple weeks ago, and we talked about henna some more, and she was just such a nice, happy lady.

Culmination: I saw her at Starbucks this week, and she came over and talked to me, not about henna, but just for the hell of it, because now we have become occasional Starbucks friends. Which I kind of love.And here's Jess, my TV lover.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Probably the Scariest Thing I Can Think Of

I have never driven in Spokane. Not even one time. Not once. But when I am in Portland, I drive. Sometimes/most of the time, I drive at night. In the dark. In my parent's Honda Civic, which I park in all sorts of places around Portland. All. Sorts.

I have an unfounded fear that there will be a man hiding in the backseat of my car when I come back for it, and that I will get in and start to drive without noticing that he is there. And then, when I am on a dark roadway in the late hours of the night, he will slowly sit up, and I will look in my rearview mirror and see his face.

That's as far as I have thought.

Have you ever seen the movie "Rocketman?" I haven't seen it for about ten years, but as far as I can remember, it goes like this: A wee young boy wants to be in an astronaut. He then grows up to look just like the Bass Player from "That Thing You Do," and he becomes the stupidest astronaut ever, and he goes to the moon and does silly things and falls in love with the hot-lady astronaut, and I think there is a monkey in the story somewhere.

This movie contains one of the best exchanges ever, and here it is:

Dumb Main Character Astronaut: Were you ever afraid that there was a baker under your bed?

Smart Supporting Character Astronaut: No.

Dumb Main Character Astronaut: Well did you ever check?

Smart Supporting Character Astronaut: No.

Dumb Main Character Astronaut: Then how do you know there wasn't a baker under you bed?

Wise words, Dumb Main Character Astronaut, wise words.

I always check for the baker under my bed.

And by "baker," I mean "hiding-psychopathic killer."

And by "under my bed," I mean "in the back seat of the Honda Civic."

Monday, March 14, 2011

This Cat Like Vegetables And You Should Too

When I graduate, I am going to start a new blog that will be called, "Vegetables For People Who Don't Like Vegetables." And I'm going to buy weird vegetables from our neighborhood co-op and make them into delicious, nutritious dishes and then take pictures of them!


So that will be fun. I also plan to consume an entire bag of baby carrots every week.

Starting next week.

For realz.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Bubble

There is a girl sitting way to close to me at the bar in the campus coffee shop. There is NO REASON for her to be sitting this close to me. There is plenty of space. Move over, slightly sweaty, loud girl! This space is mine. Why else would I have spread out over at least two stools worth of counter? It's a hint that I DON'T WANT YOU SITTING THERE.

I want that space so that I don't have to worry about you reading over my shoulder while I write this blog post about you.

Please stop bumping me with your elbow every five minutes and not noticing.

Please stop laughing maniacally with your three other girl and boyfriends.

Please take off your sweaty windbreaker so that it will stop cracking when you move.

Please hang your backpack on the back of the chair.

This sounds means. That's why I am writing it down instead of telling here. Because sometimes I just need to be bitchy and mean about tiny, unimportant things...

But this bubble is mine, and I don't want your presence in it.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


This week, I have seasonal affect disoder. That spells sad! Coincidence? I don't think so.

And now, pictures.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Weekend in Pictures

Made money like this:

Wore something kinda like this:

Read this again:

Loved this:

Felt like this:

Finished with:

Monday, February 14, 2011

Spandex Dressezzz

Over the summer, Emily got a spandex dress. She sent me a text about it that was something like,"OMG i got a spandex dress and we should both wear them spandex dressezz on our birthday!"

And then I got to Spokane and saw the glory that was the spandex dress, and I knew that that was the best idea that I had ever heard.

So eventually I got one. And then we both put them on and literally freaked out at each other in the hallway for five minutes. Good night.

I am wearing mine today. Spandex is the only acceptable fabric to wear on Valentine's Day, in my opinion.


Sunday, January 30, 2011


Working five hours a week at minimum wage doesn't really work out so well anymore. Before I became a real person (i.e. turned 21), it was fine because there was nowhere to go in Spokane, and (more importantly) I had no one to go with. Because I was antisocial and minorly depressed. But anyway, moving on, $75 bi-weekly is NOT ENOUGH.

I chose to deal with this problem by being harassing the sushi restaurant across the street until they gave me a job. It worked surprisingly well.


Although I am not Japanese, and I have never worked in a restaurant. But I do have a bangs. So there was at least one point in my favor.

Point Being: I have a job, and I make tips! Legally!

Seriously, though, I like it a lot, and it is full of people that I don't know very well yet, and I like that. And sometimes I get free sushi, and/or get bi-lingually hit on by the Chinese sushi chef.

I have also been asked to join a band and play my bass. Bass= +3 points.

Related: Have you ever been convinced that someone is gay, and then once you are around them for a length of time, you find out that they are not? It is disconcerting. First impressions= -5 points.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


The people who live next door to my house have a giant truck that they park in our shared driveway. They also have a little, decorative bench on their baby-sized porch, and it is in constant use by the family. At various times during the day, one can see: a pubescent teenage girl, a middle-aged women, or (my personal favorite) an on-his-way-to-obesity man with a salt and pepper beard. Any one of these people can often be glimpsed sitting on the dainty white bench throughout the day, and either (A). talking on a cell phone or (B). staring. Both options are disconcerting to the viewer, but the staring wins by a teeny nudge of added uncomfortable.

This morning, some friends picked me up from my house, and Near Obese Man was occupying the bench doing (B).staring, and one of my friends asked me if he was a real person.

He was sitting very, very still.

During October, someone was giving hayrides up and down Ivanhoe. At first, I didn't believe that it was true, even though I heard the tractor rumbling past my window every half-hour, but then I peeked through my blinds, saw the hayride and took a picture of it for posterity.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Christmas Break Break-Down

This Christmas:

I fulfilled my eight-grade dream of buying a bass. It is from a pawn shop and cost me $100, case included. It is obviously very high quality. It has four strings, and it is dark purple and nicked-up (which is fine. It makes me look like I actually know how to play it...) Josh gave me a tiny purple guitar amp and a cord. I feel like I'm going to be an undiscovered bass-genius, and I'm pretty sure that it gives me at least 25% more sex appeal.

Lots of brunch. One of my favorite things about being in Portland is going out to breakfast excessively. Brunching-outing is in my top five list of All Time Favorite Activities. I had Sister-Brother Bonding Brunch, and Sister-Sister Bonding Brunch, and Sister-Sister-New-Sister-Talk-About-Upcoming Wedding Brunch, among others.

Christmas shopping with Josh. Every year since I was about thirteen, Josh and I have Christmas shopped together, and it is always a lovely, lovely time. Together, we find absolutely the best presents for everyone, and this year, I got to help him pick an engagement ring. So I was extra important.