Sunday, November 21, 2010

Something Wonderful

Here's something about Spokane: It's weird. It has weird places in it, places that you look at in total bemusement because they're just so odd. But wonderful. Odd and wonderful both.

Example: Ceragem (not sir-ag-emm. Sarah-gem)

Basic Premise: Thermal bed store

Reason For Weirdness: Too many to count... But let's try anyway.

Where to start? Hmmm... well... hmmm. Okay. I think that best description would be that Ceragem is like a 70's infomercial brought to life.

Let's unpack that.

First of all, it's on Division. Second of all, it is run by a Middle-Eastern European/Swedish/Lithuanian couple who are incredibly friendly. Third of all, this is what you do at Ceragem: you lay on this massaging bed thing for fifteen minutes while you listen to a testimonial video about Ceragem has changed people's lives. The bed looks like this, except that they put crackly, doctor's office paper on top of it to keep things sanitary. Like THIS:
As an added bonus, Ceragem has inspirational quotes painted in pastel blue letters on the walls. They also have a Swedish grandfather clock painted on the wall, but the face of the clock is not painted. IT'S REAL.(Swedish Grandfather Clock. Not painted)

Besides being almost literally the weirdest place ever, Ceragem delivers a great, free massage

Sometimes I love Spokane so much that I just want to give it a big, condescending hug.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I Act Like This Because I Like You So Hard

To Whom It May Concern:

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this. It is very thoughtful of you, and I appreciate your input. It has recently come to my attention that my resting facial expression makes me look like I hate everybody. Or that I am sad. Really sad. Just to clarify, I am generally not sad. I am pretty happy a lot of the time. And I definitely don't hate you, unless you are legitimately, actually Satan (for purpose of discussion, let's assume that you are not. And if you are, why the f*&% are reading this?)

It has also come to my attention that I am mean to the opposite sex. So I apologize to you, Hypothetical Boy Who Is Reading This. I'm not actually mean; It's really that am afraid of you and of your YouTube references and every other form of boy-humor-that-I-don't-understand.

So Dear Reader, please accept this small token of my undying love and affection for you that remains strong, even if it seems to you that I literally cannot stand to be near you. I picked these especially because I know that they are your favorites.
Very Affectionately Yours,

Megan K. Porter

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Derry Nostalgia Love Time

It's funny to think about the things that were happening a year ago. Funny good funny. Not bad funny.

A year ago, I was planning a kick-ass Christmas party with my friend Sam.

A year ago, I was completely stressed and depressed about being away from home on Thanksgiving. Also, I was intensely annoyed with Stephen #2 for being a man-whore (I can say that because it's truer than anything.)

A year ago, I was trying to figure out if I wanted to date someone who I was not attracted to and who was a little too interested in me (and who was Irish. I can only say that because he'll never read this.) It didn't take that long to figure out the answer to that....

I miss Derry, but I don't want to go back for a long time. It was the perfect place to be for three months, because there is no where that is better or easier or friendlier than Northern Ireland.

It is the best place to slack off in.
It is definitely the best place to have weird run-ins with the opposite sex and not feel guilty at all
It is the best place to meet tons of people who are unashamedly friendly.
It is the best place to get early-holiday-enthusiastic.
It is the best place to eat a really good toasted sandwich.
It is the best place to take classes that are unrelated to anything that you will ever need to know about.(And a tangent)
This is Peter Smith (in the cardigan. Duh.) I had a platonic crush on him. He speaks fluent Irish. I bet that he is at least 50. My last week in Derry, he took our entire Irish class (7 of us. All female) out to a Christmas lunch at one of the winebars on the river, and he paid for the majority of it. I loved him.

And he got 50 bonus points for looking like an elf.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Personal Deets

I have the worst timing in the world/Every guy I have ever remotely liked has a secret girlfriend.


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Fail Blog

This is a rant. I need to write it down, otherwise I am going to keep talking about it to anyone who stands still long enough to listen to me. And that is definitely not a good way to make friends. Because it's annoying as hell.

Once upon a time, I started my senior year of college, and it was great. I was in the musical. I had some friends. Good.

While being in the musical, I didn't pay attention to anything that was happening in any class that I was taking, and I LIKED it that way. It was lovely bliss.

Now the musical is over, and I have no choice but to pay attention, and this is what I now know:

I Fail.

I literally have no idea what is happening in any class that I am taking. All that I know is that I hate my Cryptography D-Group more than I thought was physically, emotionally, and spiritually possible, and that Comm. Ethics is the first comm. class that I have been at a total loss in. I literally feel like the stupidest person in the world on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I am actually not stupid, though. I think I am a sort of smart most of the time.

But at the same time, even while I am totally failing to complete anything on time or remotely well, I DON'T CARE. I don't.

I would much rather spend my time reading Harry Potter 7, and going to trivia, and carving pumpkins with my housemates, and making epic-ly good chili and going to Sharis late at night with Emily.

But still, I fail.