Thursday, August 26, 2010

Waxing Philosophical

Denmark is one of the happiest country in the world. Did you know that? This Danish professor researched the reason why Danes are happy and this is what he said (I didn't write this part, just so you know. I copied it from

They’re so glum and get happy when things turn out not quite as badly as they expected. "And I was thinking about, What if it was opposite? That Denmark made the worst, number 20, and another country was number one. I'm pretty sure the Danish television would have said, 'Well, number 20's not too bad. You know it's still in the top 25, that's not so bad,'" he says.

History may also play a role in the country's culture of low expectations. If you go to the government's own Web site, it proudly proclaims “the present configuration of the country is the result of 400 years of forced relinquishments of land, surrenders and lost battles."

Hhahaaaa! Isn't that great? And also a little ironic and sad, but mostly just great.

So, I was thinking about this. And I realized that that has been my problem of late. High expectation. Geez, what's my problem? I should never expect anything good to happen to me. Now I feel marginally better about my summer.

Having said that, I can all of a sudden think of a handful of of little moments that were kind of great.

-I only have two and a half days of work left. YES. That is great.

-I've been teaching "The Tempest" all summer. This is the fourth time. This session, the class consists of 19 girls, who are all about 14. And 1 boy. And every day when I get to to class, these girls will crowd around me and tell me that they like my outfit. Every day. I am the most popular kid in town.

-A maybe-homeless man saw me sitting on a bench in the park, reading. And he said, "You're so pretty. If I was half my age, I would ask you on a date." It was not creepy, but actually kind of sweet.

-My lovely friend Emily I. M. visited me, and we had a glorious weekend, doing very bad karaoke (me) and drinking fantastic I.P.A. at the Brewers Fest and getting tipsy(both of us).

-My hair became red.

-I made a giraffe cake and left it on Jesca's porch in the dead of night.

-We've had sibling "True Blood" night every single Sunday since the new season has started.

-Right now, as I am writing this, there are pre-teens in the classroom next door singing Queen with piano accompaniment.

Lots of things. Perspective is a good thing.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I Need to Leave

This summer has been...fine. Fine. Not great, not bad. Just sort of unsatisfying. Here's an analogy for you (metaphor? I can never tell...) Summer 2010 has been like being really, really hungry and all that you want to do is eat, eat, eat. But when you finally get to eat, you eat the first thing that you see (probably something weird because there is nothing left in the fridge since you haven't gone shopping for three weeks. Something like a tortilla with peanut butter and cinnamon on it) instead of filling you up and putting you into a good-food coma, you still feel hungry. Cause you didn't eat the right thing. You still want something else, something satisfying, even though, technically, you're not hungry anymore.

I need to leave. I need to stop being in my parent's house because it reverts me back to age 14 which is not an age I ever want to be again. It makes me (dare I say it?) bitchy. It makes me want to get in the car and turn on the radio and sing while I drive forever without telling anyone where I'm going.

It's like all summer, I've been waiting for something, which has caused time to go quickly without me noticing or doing anything to stop it.

There weren't very many hot, hot nights to sit outside in with my sister, eating sushi. I only went to the park once all summer. I didn't go to the library nearly enough.

This post is a bit of a downer. Sorry about that...Here's a happy picture to lighten the mood!
(WOW. Look at how happy that cat is! That cat is ridiculously happy. I'm pretty sure it is impossible to feel down while looking at this picture. Good thing we got that taken care of.)

Don't get me wrong. Good things have happened. Some very good things in fact.
Good things, good things. But all in all, I'm ready to leave and go to school, even though Portland is infinitely cooler than Spokane and always will be.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

You Probably Won't Find This Interesting. No, I'm Serious.

Fact: My nose has very little cartilage in it. I can squish it almost completely flat against my face. Well, not completely. Like, half flat. But STILL. It's pretty squishy. But you wouldn't know that by looking. You'd have to actually push on it (you can try it, if you ask me really nice. But you should just take my word on this.)

Fact: If I smile on purpose for a picture, 85% of the time, I will hate it. This is why I generally make a face on purpose, or just open my eyes realllly wide, because then if the picture is bad, I will know it is because I was making a face. Because it's just plain depressing when you actually try to look good in a picture, and then you try, and try, and try. And it just doesn't happen.

Theory/Discovery: The reason (partly) for my non-photogenicness-when-I-am-actually-trying is my squishy nose. I just never know what it's going to do in the picture. Is it going to crinkle? Is it going to look straight (cause sometimes it does)? Is it going to flatten out into an amorphous blob that covers my entire face the minute that the picture is snapped? I just don't know.
Smiling makes it do funny things.

This is a serious problem.

But now that I've worked it out in my blog, I feel better.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Teen Angst

My adolescence has mentally caught up with me, 8-10 years after it should have been here. At age 13, most girls flirt with boys and read "Seventeen" and swear and drink illegally (maybe) and get snarky and emotional towards everyone who comes in contact with them. When I was 13, I was ridiculously tall for my age and spent most of my time planning how to run away from my middle school with my friend Ashley. I secretly pined for a boy who sat behind me in math and was outgoing and popular and never, ever noticed me. That pattern continued for the next oh, six years maybe seven.

But now, NOW, at age almost 22, I finally am an actualized teenager. All the things that should have happened to me then are cropping up now, but I'm guessing that they are going to be more fun at this stage of my life than they ever would have been then. I ran into my middle school crush a couple weeks ago, and he semi checked me out, and I thought "he's not that cute. Actually, kind of funny looking." And that made me feel awesome.

Lately, I've been reading all my old Louis Sachar books (I don't care that he's a children's author! I love him) and thinking, "wow, I can really relate to this situation!" I've been having really strong urges to swear at people. A lot. And I never swear (although I secretly want to. I'm just not sure if I can pull it off without looking like a newbie.) Wait, yes I can. Dammit, dammit, fuck, fuck, fuck. There. That felt good. Those are the only swear words that I care about.

I'm getting an overwhelming urge to subscribe to "Cosmo." I like Lady GaGa, and if Katy Perry comes on the radio, I don't switch the station.

Joseph-Gordon Levitt is adorable. He has style. I want to marry him. Maybe I'll write him a fan letter and dot all the "i"s in it with little hearts.

I've decided that I either want to be a Blazer dancer or one of those people who does the voices for animated character when I grow up.

But, hey. I'm an adult now. Officially. SO if I want to revert to childhood, I'll do it, dammit. And I'll like it!