Sunday, August 8, 2010

Teen Angst

My adolescence has mentally caught up with me, 8-10 years after it should have been here. At age 13, most girls flirt with boys and read "Seventeen" and swear and drink illegally (maybe) and get snarky and emotional towards everyone who comes in contact with them. When I was 13, I was ridiculously tall for my age and spent most of my time planning how to run away from my middle school with my friend Ashley. I secretly pined for a boy who sat behind me in math and was outgoing and popular and never, ever noticed me. That pattern continued for the next oh, six years maybe seven.

But now, NOW, at age almost 22, I finally am an actualized teenager. All the things that should have happened to me then are cropping up now, but I'm guessing that they are going to be more fun at this stage of my life than they ever would have been then. I ran into my middle school crush a couple weeks ago, and he semi checked me out, and I thought "he's not that cute. Actually, kind of funny looking." And that made me feel awesome.

Lately, I've been reading all my old Louis Sachar books (I don't care that he's a children's author! I love him) and thinking, "wow, I can really relate to this situation!" I've been having really strong urges to swear at people. A lot. And I never swear (although I secretly want to. I'm just not sure if I can pull it off without looking like a newbie.) Wait, yes I can. Dammit, dammit, fuck, fuck, fuck. There. That felt good. Those are the only swear words that I care about.

I'm getting an overwhelming urge to subscribe to "Cosmo." I like Lady GaGa, and if Katy Perry comes on the radio, I don't switch the station.

Joseph-Gordon Levitt is adorable. He has style. I want to marry him. Maybe I'll write him a fan letter and dot all the "i"s in it with little hearts.

I've decided that I either want to be a Blazer dancer or one of those people who does the voices for animated character when I grow up.

But, hey. I'm an adult now. Officially. SO if I want to revert to childhood, I'll do it, dammit. And I'll like it!


  1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Who is the mayor's son? Hm?

    I am so lucky to be related to you.

  2. No, I want to marry Joseph Gordon-Levitt!

  3. This is the best thing ever.