This is me, sitting in a field of pretty weeds, on the corner of Division. Please note the gigantic, flat-bed truck in the back ground. Feel free to pull deeper meaning from this picture.
So far, the most exciting thing about graduating and being home (besides being back in Portland, which is always exciting) is finally getting a queen-size bed. I'm an adult! I'manadultI'manadult! I fucking love my hand-me-down queen bad, ok?
But really, other than that, it is a little sad. Not permanently sad, but nostalgic sad. Especially when I look back at the beginning of college, the first two years, when I just hated it. I was shockingly unhappy at Whitworth for most of those years, which was mostly my own fault, but was also North Spokane's fault, because honestly (and I can say this now because I don't live there anymore) North Spokane just sucks. Sucks so bad. It's a terrible place, unless you have a lot of friends to hang out with, which I didn't. So there you go.
I took the Myers-Briggs personality test my sophomore year, and I got INFJ. That personality definitely was me at that time, and it still is in some ways. Funnily enough though, I took the test again in the car yesterday, driving to Portland with my siblings, and I got ENFP, which makes sense now.
The second half of college was such a complete 180 from the first half. I think that I really was two different people; it amazes me how many friends I have/had in Spokane that I am sad to leave. Really, really sad to leave. I never thought that that would happen. Wow. Just WOW.
Mostly, college was just completely different from what I expected, in the best possible way. For example:
College Fantasty: I have many philosophical male friends. We sit around discussing Kant, and post-modern art, while drinking boxed red wine.
Reality: Spent 80% of my social time with women, who were wonderful and beautiful and supportive. Because men generally make self-conscious. Not always, but I just didn't meet the right kinds of men, until the very last second.
College Fanstasy: I excel at one subject easily. I am recognized as "the best blankety-blank blank on campus."
Reality: Turns out, I am not that good at anything. I don't mean that I am not good at anything, I just mean that I am not exceptionally good at anything. I am not a genius. But hey, that's ok.
College Fantasy: I immediately connect with an artistic, sensitive young man, who treats me wonderfully and understands every one of my quirks. We are the most adorable couple that has ever been.
Reality: Made it all the way through college without dating a single man. However, this taught me to valuable lessons both about myself and about the opposite sex. Like, I used to think that every guy is a nice guy, but that is NOT TRUE. A nice guy is rarer than I thought. Most importantly, I learned that you should always triple-check a man's relationship status. Seriously, do it. And probably steer clear of men who have had a serious girlfriend within the last three years. I also learned that I have the absolute worst timing in the world. It is truly, truly terrible.
In conclusion, I am happy and sad, and nostaligic and excited, and full of content and longing. Things need to be sorted, but they are good.