Life's Great Secret

I am a dog-sitter. Here's what that entails: Every morning, I wake up bright and early and drive my mom to school so that I can have the car. Then I drive the longest way possible to the Eastside, because I refuse to drive on the freeway. Once there, I sit with the dog.

It is quite possible the best and easiest temporary job in the world. I literally, in every sense of the word, dog sit. The dog and I spend most of our day sitting on the ridiculously comfortable bed-couch combo and watching "True Blood," which is very, very addictive. Actually, I sit while he sleeps on my feet in fetal position (Feet-al position! Hahaha! Get it? Sorry. Unintentional pun.)

He is the perfect dog because he spends his time sleeping, lolloping around the yard, not barking, not being smelly (most of the time), and being pretty adorable in general. Really, the only kind of dog that I could spend long periods of time with. He doesn't do anything. It is great.

Or, when it is not raining, I put him on his leash, and together we explore and make new friends. This has lead me to discover one of life's great truths: Everyone wants to pet puppies. Even if they don't actually do it, they still want to. Which is why Judah (that's the puppy) and I make new friends. I merely have to take him somewhere and then sit down with him and people will flock to us! Because he is cute. And sometimes tries to climb in to my lap. Or puts his head on my knee. And basically is the most pet-able thing anywhere.

I think that a good idea would be for somebody to start a puppy dating service. They could have a whole bunch of really nice, non-smelly dogs, that single people could take on walks so as to meet people of the opposite sex. Because if you're walking a puppy, SOMEONE is going to pet it. And the odds are, eventually, that someone is going to be single and of the opposite sex. I think this is a good idea.

Or even not a dating service. Just a meeting-people service. Yeah, that would definitely work too.