Monday, July 12, 2010

Problems with the Park

Eating in the park is a great idea in theory. Sometimes in real life, but mostly in theory. There's a park right by where I work, and about every other day at 1ish o'clock, I will sprint there as quickly as possible so as to utilize as much of my 25 minute lunch break as I can.

If I don't go to the park, the odds are quite high that I will spend lunch time playing Connect Four with small children and while sitting on a robin-egg blue, child-sized bench. It is also likely that there will be a sixteen-year old boy sitting way too close to me and breathing on my arm. Loudly and through his mouth.

Tangent: I hate bodily noises. Any noises, not just gross ones. I hate coughing. I hate sneezing. I hate, hate, HATE really audible chewing. And mouth breathing. Especially when the mouth-breather is breathing on my upper arm. Frankly, that's just creepy. End tangent.

The problem with eating at the park is that it is full of bugs and wet grass, and lots and lots of homeless men trying to make conversation (not necessarily with me. With anyone, really). The problem with the park is that my nectarine drips down my arm, and I have no napkin. The problem with the park is that there is no comfortable way to sit in the grass, eat multiple pieces of fruit sans napkin, drink a carbonated beverage, and read a book all at the same time and all within a twenty minute time frame (I need the extra five for the sprint back to work.)

Multi-tasking is not my specialty.


  1. AHHH! The arm breather!! AHHH. I should come visit you on your lunch break and bring you bubble tea!!!